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Friday, March 04, 2011

Public Speaking - Pre-Planned Ad-Libs 1

Some humorous things to say when things go wrong during your presentation:

SOMETHING IS BROKEN

*Humor can't fix everything.
* I would fix this, but the only thing I learned in shop class was how to call
for estimates.
* That's what I get for buying this at a flea market.
* I'll fix this right up. Just give me a hammer.
* Does anyone have some SuperGlue?
* Does anyone have a dollar bill on them? [If possible, go into the audience
in search of a dollar bill apparently to fix the broken item.] It won't fix this,
but maybe I can bribe someone to get me another one.
* We really didn't need that [with sarcasm] MAJOR PORTION OF MY
PRESENTATION did we? All great speakers have a plan. Unfortunately,
I don't. No. I'm just kidding [go to alternate plan and you had better have
one!]
* I know it's time for a BREAK, but this is ridiculous.
* This item just took a break so why don't we take one too. Let's resume at....
* Just when I was smokin,' this darn thing gets broken. Let's [take a break,
alternate plan, etc.]

LIGHTS GO OUT

* I guess I'll have to donate a portion of my fee to the electric company.
* The caterer will be here shortly with carrots for everyone.
* I guess God tried to hit me with a lightning bolt, but hit your electric box
instead.
* I hope my talk hasn't left you in the dark.
* It appears that I need to shed some more light on this subject.
* Since you're all sleeping anyway, I decided to turn off the lights.
* This is carrying energy conservation too far.

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