=> He always feels bad when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better.
=> A wise man once said that the best way to save face is to keep the bottom part of it closed.
=> The reason ideas die quickly in some people's heads is because they can't stand solitary confinement.
=> Gas prices are so high that when I pulled into a station and asked for a dollar's worth, the attendant dabbed some behind my ears.
=> Consultation: A medical term meaning "share the wealth."
=> Governmental machinery is the marvelous device which enables ten men to do the work of one.
=> Our speaker always gives the most refreshing talks. Everywhere he goes the audiences always feel good when they wake up.
=> The cheapest way to have your family tree traced is to run for public office.
=> A man I know solved the problem of too many visiting relatives. He borrowed money from the rich ones and gave it to the poor ones. Now none of them come back.
=> Depend on the rabbit's foot if you want, but remember it didn't work to well for the rabbit.
=> "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain
=> A wife is the only person who can look into the top drawer of a dresser and find a man's socks that aren't there.
=> Crime has gotten so bad in places, that citizens figure mugging into their budgets.
=> Don't confuse this confusion with disorganization...because we're not that organized yet.
=> Perfect timing is the ability to turn off the "hot" and "cold"shower faucets at the same time.
=> I won't say he's neurotic, but when the teams go into a huddle he wonders if they are talking about him.
=> One of the great mysteries of life is how that idiot who married your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchildren in the world.
=> My kids sister has a superiority complex...she thinks she's almost as good as me.