=> A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
=> A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
=> To save money for the company he cut all the electricity. They were soon in the black.
=> Why is it that when the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time?
=> If you can't learn to do it well, you should learn to enjoy doing it badly.
=> Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.
=> When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of plastic, naugahyde and aluminum.
=> The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
=> The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
=> HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
=> Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
=> We're not happy till you're not happy.
=> It sure makes for a long day when you get to work on-time.
=> Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours!
=> Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different.
=> I've started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
=> My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I've only been jogging once and feel ten years older already.
=> If you receive something that says "Send this to all your friends", please consider me not your friend.