=>You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.
=>I can handle pain until it hurts.
=>If you cannot convince them, confuse them
=>If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane
=>Do not believe in miracles, rely on them
=>Oh well, I think this is going to be one of those lifetimes
=>Death is life's way of telling you you're fired
=>In GOD we trust all others must pay cash
=>Death is the consequence of being alive
=>Don't worry about life; you are not going to survive it, anyway
=>Lead me not into temptation; I can find it myself
=>Don't take life too seriously it's not permanent
=>Wouldn't it be nice if there was an escape key for all of our problems
=>I'm serious, it was a joke
=>The whole purpose of your life is to serve as a warning toothers
=>Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself
=>Overdrawn? But I still have checks left! YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD DAY WHEN...
=>Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife
=>The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard
=>You put both contacts lenses in the same eye