Regardless of one's nationality and culture, cartoons and comic strips are the most universally accepted format for humor in public speaking engagements. These pieces of visual humor are seen in newspapers and magazines in most areas of the world. They may be found in newsstands in large cities, or in large libraries.
It might be fun to collect cartoons and comic strips when you travel so you have a ready supply when you need one for a speaking engagement. Be careful to avoid cartoons that have political overtones. If you are speaking to a small group, you can show the periodical or pass it around. If you want to use the cartoon or comic strip in a visual, you may need permission from the artist or copyright owner. Always read the caption for a foreign audience and give them time to mentally translate what you say. It may take what seems to be forever (4-6 seconds) for the idea to sink in. Another good resource for cartoons is 'Witty World International Cartoon Magazine' by Creators Syndicate.
Other forms of visual humor that transcend most cultural barriers are juggling and magic. Good resource materials are available on both topics. 'Speaking With Magic' is a book by Michael Jeffreys that not only teaches you simple tricks, but gives you the points you can relate to the trick. Two good magic videos for speakers by master magician Tom Ogden are 'Teaching and Training with Magic' and 'The Magic of Creativity.'
In Thailand, I used props as icebreakers. I used oversize money to pass out to the crowd because I knew they were interested in 'BIG MONEY.' I also used some softballs that looked like dollar bills so they would have money to 'THROW AROUND.'
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Public Speaking : Bilingual Help
When going over room setup and audio / visual requirements with a foreign logistics person, make sure you do it in advance of the presentation (hopefully several times), and have a bilingual person there to ensure that both you and the logistics person are on the same wavelength.
Be in the room very early on the day of the speaking engagement (at least two hours before the public enters the room) and, if possible, have your bilingual helper there too. Terms that are familiar to most English speaking speakers are difficult to translate into a foreign language. One good idea is to take pictures of the various items you may need (overhead projector, white board, etc.) and carry them with you to the event. When you want something, all you have to do is show the picture which, when you are desperate in a foreign country, is worth a million words.
Be in the room very early on the day of the speaking engagement (at least two hours before the public enters the room) and, if possible, have your bilingual helper there too. Terms that are familiar to most English speaking speakers are difficult to translate into a foreign language. One good idea is to take pictures of the various items you may need (overhead projector, white board, etc.) and carry them with you to the event. When you want something, all you have to do is show the picture which, when you are desperate in a foreign country, is worth a million words.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Public Speaking : International Perspective on Humor
United States public speaking audiences are becoming more and more diverse. It is your responsibility as a public speaker to be aware of and acknowledge significant portions of the audience that come from differing backgrounds. If you are speaking in a different country, again, it is up to you to find out about local customs and types of humor that are appreciated in that locale. The response to humor is quite different for different cultures. Paying close attention to this fact will give you a greater chance of connecting with international audiences in and out of the U.S. You will also be more aware of etiquette and customs that will make you a welcome speaker anywhere you go.
If you are not familiar with your intended audience, in your pre- program research you might ask, 'How diverse is your group? Or do you have members from other countries?' The answers to these questions will help you plan your strategy for connecting with a particular audience.
I was doing my planning for a speech in Baltimore, Maryland and found out that twenty-five percent of the audience was Asian Indian. I knew nothing about the Indian culture and didn't have long to plan. What I did know was the Dunkin' Donut store near my home was owned and run by Indians. That was a good excuse to stop in, down a few eclairs, and do some research. I told the proprietor what I was trying to accomplish and he was glad to help. Out of all the information he gave me about humor in India, I only used one line. That was all it took to connect. The line was, 'I want to tell all my new Indian friends I'm sorry Johnny Lever couldn't make it.' Johnny Lever was one of the top comedians in India. They lit up and I went on with the program.
If your local donut shop isn't run by the appropriate nationality for your next speaking engagement, don't worry. There are other sure-fire methods to get the information you need. If you are speaking outside the US, get the opinion of local people before you attempt to use humor. If you are speaking in the U.S., seek out members of the nationality to whom you are speaking. If you don't happen to know any, you can always call their embassy. I've called our State Department, The World Bank, Voice of America and many other public agencies for information. Just tell the receptionist you want to speak to someone from the country of interest. Don't forget to tell them you want to converse in English.
In Hong Kong you would never beckon someone by putting your hand out and curling your index finger back and forth. Why? Read on.
When speaking to foreign audiences you must check your humor carefully so you don't accidentally offend someone. In some countries you may hear people openly joking on television or in public about subjects that would be taboo in the U.S. That doesn't mean you can attempt to joke about the same subjects in your presentation.
Even if your speaking humor is OK, you need to become familiar with other customs in the country in which you are speaking. Customs are quite different around the world. It is easy to make mistakes when you are in a totally new environment. You'll never get the audience to laugh if you accidentally do something offensive. A good resource that gives you a fun look at customs in other countries is the book 'Gestures: The Do's and Taboos of Body Language Around the World' by Roger Axtell. This book gives lots of information on things to do and not to do in public when in a foreign country. Here's just a few serious mistakes that could easily be made during a speaking engagement that would offend:
1. In Columbia if you wanted to show the height of an animal you would hold your arm out palm down and raise it to the appropriate height. If you are trying to show the height of a person, you do the same thing, but your palm is on edge. So, if you meant to show the height of a person, but you did it palm down as we normally would in the U.S., you would have either insulted the person by treating he or she like an animal or you would have confused your audience because they would now think that you were actually talking about an animal that had the name of a person. See how crazy this can get.
2. I've got another animal problem for you. In Hong Kong, Indonesia and Australia you would never beckon someone by putting your hand out and curling your index finger back and forth (like you might do to coax someone on stage with you). This gesture is used to call animals and/or ladies of the night and would be offensive to your audience.
3. In Latin American and the Middle East people stand much closer while conversing. If you were interacting with a person from one of these cultures during a public speaking engagement and you backed away to keep a normal U.S. personal space, you would be sending a very unfriendly message. Asians, however typically stand farther apart. Your understanding of this will keep you from chasing them all over the stage. Keep this in mind too if you go into the audience to interact with them. Since they are seated, you control the interpersonal space.
Sometimes your mistakes are funny. Hermine Hilton, the well known memory expert, tells of a speaking engagement in Nigeria where she tried to pronounce the names of members of the audience and innocently added sexual innuendo. She said everyone was falling on the floor with laughter. Most foreign audiences do appreciate your effort to speak their language.
Here's a few more international public speaking tips I've run across:
1. You might think you are putting your audience to sleep in Japan, but don't worry. In Japan it is common to show concentration and attentiveness in public by closing the eyes and nodding the head up and down slightly. -- Then again, maybe you really are boring.
2. Applause is accepted as a form of approval in most areas of the world. In the United States the applause is sometimes accompanied by whistling. If you hear whistles in many parts of Europe, you better run because it is a signal of disapproval.
3. If you were finishing a speaking engagement in Argentina and you waved goodbye, U.S. style, the members of the audience might all turn around and come back to sit down. To them the wave means, 'Hey! Come back.' In other parts of Latin American and in Europe the same wave means 'no.'
The book I previously mentioned has hundreds of tips that will help keep the audience on your side when you present outside the U. S. Another good and inexpensive source of international background information is the 'Culturgram' published by the David M. Kennedy Center for International Studies, which is part of Brigham Young University, located in Provo, Utah.
Each 'Culturgram' is a four page newsletter that gives you an easy to understand overview of the country of your choice. It includes customs and common courtesies, along with information about the people and their lifestyle. References point you toward additional study resources. Currently 'Culturgrams' are available for 118 countries.
Visual
Regardless of one's nationality and culture, cartoons and comic strips are the most universally accepted format for humor. A good resource is Witty World International Cartoon Magazine by Creators Syndicate 310-337-7003. If you are speaking to a small group you can hold up the magazine or pass it around. If you want to use the cartoon or comic strip in a visual, you may need permission from the copyright holder. Always read the caption for a foreign audience and give them time to mentally translate what you say. It may take what seems to be forever (4-6 seconds) for the idea to sink in.
Cartoons and comic strips are seen in newspapers and magazines in most areas of the world. Newsstands in large cities usually have foreign periodicals, or you may find them in large libraries. It might be fun to collect cartoons and comic strips when you travel so you have a ready supply when you need one for a speech.
Be careful about your selection of cartoons. Many American cartoons would totally bomb if used outside the U.S. Much of our humor is based on making fun of someone else. This type of humor is not understood in most areas of the world and is considered disrespectful.
Other forms of visual humor that transcend most cultural barriers are juggling and magic. I don't do either, but good resources are available. Speaking With Magic is a book by Michael Jeffreys that not only teaches you simple tricks, but gives you the points you can relate to the trick. I got my copy from Royal Publishing, Box 1120, Glendora, CA 91740 Phone (626) 335-8069. For juggling and other magic books call or write for Morris Costume's Catalog, 3108 Monroe Road, Charlotte, NC 28205 Phone (704) 332-3304. There is a charge for the catalog, but it's worth it.
Words
Terminology is different in most areas of the world even if the country is English based. Highly tested humor that would work anywhere in the U.S. may fall flat in another country simply because the audience doesn't understand one of the words. For example, in Australia, public speaking break out sessions are called syndicates. If you were making a joke that used the word syndicate, you may totally confuse the audience and they won't laugh. People from most other countries will not relate easily if you mention miles per gallon or miles per hour. You should avoid speaking about seasons, sports figures or celebrities that don't have world-wide name recognition. Rethink all humor you normally use and try to find problematic words. This is difficult to do by yourself. Try to find a person familiar with the local culture to help you.
When using translators, humor is tougher because timing and word play don't translate well. You might have to slow down considerably because of interpretation. Some speakers use half sentences to keep up the pace. This is very difficult and requires practice.
Speakers have been known to have fun with interpreters (of course, I would never do this). An unnamed speaker I know purposely mumbled to his interpreter to see what would happen. The interpreter mumbled back. Then the speaker mumbled again. It was hilarious.
Even when the audience speaks English they may not be able to understand your accent. Check with locals to see if you can be easily understood. You may have to adjust your normal delivery and rate of pitch slightly.
Art Gliner, a long- time humor trainer, gave me this tip: He learns how to say Happy New Year in the different languages represented in his audience. That technique always gets a laugh and the further away it is from New Years, the better. He also tells me a word of welcome in the native language works well too.
A few additional tips from around the world:
* In general, Asians tend not to show excitement. Thais are an exception. They want to have fun while they learn. Be sure to take lots of small gifts to give out and be prepared to receive some too.
* Do not expect standing ovations when speaking in public in Australia. It doesn't seem to be part of their culture.
* Remember -the U.S. is the foreign country when you speak outside its borders. Lots of things can be different and you should be prepared. Many countries have different standard paper sizes and use two hole punches instead of three. Any video you plan to use must be converted to PAL. You may need a converter to operate equipment you bring with you.
* South of the border people don't like us to refer to ourselves as Americans. We must remember that we are not the only ones. There are North Americans, Central Americans and South Americans.
* In Japan you should never use self-effacing humor during your public speaking engagement which is well received in American culture. Actually, the Japanese don't like humor in seminars at all. Conversely, Australians love humor.
The point is that every culture has its likes and dislikes when it comes to humor. They also have customs that can be very different from our own. Your knowledge in this area will help you create a connection with your international audience. You must do your homework, but it is worth it because a laugh sounds the same and produces the same good feelings in any language.
If you are not familiar with your intended audience, in your pre- program research you might ask, 'How diverse is your group? Or do you have members from other countries?' The answers to these questions will help you plan your strategy for connecting with a particular audience.
I was doing my planning for a speech in Baltimore, Maryland and found out that twenty-five percent of the audience was Asian Indian. I knew nothing about the Indian culture and didn't have long to plan. What I did know was the Dunkin' Donut store near my home was owned and run by Indians. That was a good excuse to stop in, down a few eclairs, and do some research. I told the proprietor what I was trying to accomplish and he was glad to help. Out of all the information he gave me about humor in India, I only used one line. That was all it took to connect. The line was, 'I want to tell all my new Indian friends I'm sorry Johnny Lever couldn't make it.' Johnny Lever was one of the top comedians in India. They lit up and I went on with the program.
If your local donut shop isn't run by the appropriate nationality for your next speaking engagement, don't worry. There are other sure-fire methods to get the information you need. If you are speaking outside the US, get the opinion of local people before you attempt to use humor. If you are speaking in the U.S., seek out members of the nationality to whom you are speaking. If you don't happen to know any, you can always call their embassy. I've called our State Department, The World Bank, Voice of America and many other public agencies for information. Just tell the receptionist you want to speak to someone from the country of interest. Don't forget to tell them you want to converse in English.
In Hong Kong you would never beckon someone by putting your hand out and curling your index finger back and forth. Why? Read on.
When speaking to foreign audiences you must check your humor carefully so you don't accidentally offend someone. In some countries you may hear people openly joking on television or in public about subjects that would be taboo in the U.S. That doesn't mean you can attempt to joke about the same subjects in your presentation.
Even if your speaking humor is OK, you need to become familiar with other customs in the country in which you are speaking. Customs are quite different around the world. It is easy to make mistakes when you are in a totally new environment. You'll never get the audience to laugh if you accidentally do something offensive. A good resource that gives you a fun look at customs in other countries is the book 'Gestures: The Do's and Taboos of Body Language Around the World' by Roger Axtell. This book gives lots of information on things to do and not to do in public when in a foreign country. Here's just a few serious mistakes that could easily be made during a speaking engagement that would offend:
1. In Columbia if you wanted to show the height of an animal you would hold your arm out palm down and raise it to the appropriate height. If you are trying to show the height of a person, you do the same thing, but your palm is on edge. So, if you meant to show the height of a person, but you did it palm down as we normally would in the U.S., you would have either insulted the person by treating he or she like an animal or you would have confused your audience because they would now think that you were actually talking about an animal that had the name of a person. See how crazy this can get.
2. I've got another animal problem for you. In Hong Kong, Indonesia and Australia you would never beckon someone by putting your hand out and curling your index finger back and forth (like you might do to coax someone on stage with you). This gesture is used to call animals and/or ladies of the night and would be offensive to your audience.
3. In Latin American and the Middle East people stand much closer while conversing. If you were interacting with a person from one of these cultures during a public speaking engagement and you backed away to keep a normal U.S. personal space, you would be sending a very unfriendly message. Asians, however typically stand farther apart. Your understanding of this will keep you from chasing them all over the stage. Keep this in mind too if you go into the audience to interact with them. Since they are seated, you control the interpersonal space.
Sometimes your mistakes are funny. Hermine Hilton, the well known memory expert, tells of a speaking engagement in Nigeria where she tried to pronounce the names of members of the audience and innocently added sexual innuendo. She said everyone was falling on the floor with laughter. Most foreign audiences do appreciate your effort to speak their language.
Here's a few more international public speaking tips I've run across:
1. You might think you are putting your audience to sleep in Japan, but don't worry. In Japan it is common to show concentration and attentiveness in public by closing the eyes and nodding the head up and down slightly. -- Then again, maybe you really are boring.
2. Applause is accepted as a form of approval in most areas of the world. In the United States the applause is sometimes accompanied by whistling. If you hear whistles in many parts of Europe, you better run because it is a signal of disapproval.
3. If you were finishing a speaking engagement in Argentina and you waved goodbye, U.S. style, the members of the audience might all turn around and come back to sit down. To them the wave means, 'Hey! Come back.' In other parts of Latin American and in Europe the same wave means 'no.'
The book I previously mentioned has hundreds of tips that will help keep the audience on your side when you present outside the U. S. Another good and inexpensive source of international background information is the 'Culturgram' published by the David M. Kennedy Center for International Studies, which is part of Brigham Young University, located in Provo, Utah.
Each 'Culturgram' is a four page newsletter that gives you an easy to understand overview of the country of your choice. It includes customs and common courtesies, along with information about the people and their lifestyle. References point you toward additional study resources. Currently 'Culturgrams' are available for 118 countries.
Visual
Regardless of one's nationality and culture, cartoons and comic strips are the most universally accepted format for humor. A good resource is Witty World International Cartoon Magazine by Creators Syndicate 310-337-7003. If you are speaking to a small group you can hold up the magazine or pass it around. If you want to use the cartoon or comic strip in a visual, you may need permission from the copyright holder. Always read the caption for a foreign audience and give them time to mentally translate what you say. It may take what seems to be forever (4-6 seconds) for the idea to sink in.
Cartoons and comic strips are seen in newspapers and magazines in most areas of the world. Newsstands in large cities usually have foreign periodicals, or you may find them in large libraries. It might be fun to collect cartoons and comic strips when you travel so you have a ready supply when you need one for a speech.
Be careful about your selection of cartoons. Many American cartoons would totally bomb if used outside the U.S. Much of our humor is based on making fun of someone else. This type of humor is not understood in most areas of the world and is considered disrespectful.
Other forms of visual humor that transcend most cultural barriers are juggling and magic. I don't do either, but good resources are available. Speaking With Magic is a book by Michael Jeffreys that not only teaches you simple tricks, but gives you the points you can relate to the trick. I got my copy from Royal Publishing, Box 1120, Glendora, CA 91740 Phone (626) 335-8069. For juggling and other magic books call or write for Morris Costume's Catalog, 3108 Monroe Road, Charlotte, NC 28205 Phone (704) 332-3304. There is a charge for the catalog, but it's worth it.
Words
Terminology is different in most areas of the world even if the country is English based. Highly tested humor that would work anywhere in the U.S. may fall flat in another country simply because the audience doesn't understand one of the words. For example, in Australia, public speaking break out sessions are called syndicates. If you were making a joke that used the word syndicate, you may totally confuse the audience and they won't laugh. People from most other countries will not relate easily if you mention miles per gallon or miles per hour. You should avoid speaking about seasons, sports figures or celebrities that don't have world-wide name recognition. Rethink all humor you normally use and try to find problematic words. This is difficult to do by yourself. Try to find a person familiar with the local culture to help you.
When using translators, humor is tougher because timing and word play don't translate well. You might have to slow down considerably because of interpretation. Some speakers use half sentences to keep up the pace. This is very difficult and requires practice.
Speakers have been known to have fun with interpreters (of course, I would never do this). An unnamed speaker I know purposely mumbled to his interpreter to see what would happen. The interpreter mumbled back. Then the speaker mumbled again. It was hilarious.
Even when the audience speaks English they may not be able to understand your accent. Check with locals to see if you can be easily understood. You may have to adjust your normal delivery and rate of pitch slightly.
Art Gliner, a long- time humor trainer, gave me this tip: He learns how to say Happy New Year in the different languages represented in his audience. That technique always gets a laugh and the further away it is from New Years, the better. He also tells me a word of welcome in the native language works well too.
A few additional tips from around the world:
* In general, Asians tend not to show excitement. Thais are an exception. They want to have fun while they learn. Be sure to take lots of small gifts to give out and be prepared to receive some too.
* Do not expect standing ovations when speaking in public in Australia. It doesn't seem to be part of their culture.
* Remember -the U.S. is the foreign country when you speak outside its borders. Lots of things can be different and you should be prepared. Many countries have different standard paper sizes and use two hole punches instead of three. Any video you plan to use must be converted to PAL. You may need a converter to operate equipment you bring with you.
* South of the border people don't like us to refer to ourselves as Americans. We must remember that we are not the only ones. There are North Americans, Central Americans and South Americans.
* In Japan you should never use self-effacing humor during your public speaking engagement which is well received in American culture. Actually, the Japanese don't like humor in seminars at all. Conversely, Australians love humor.
The point is that every culture has its likes and dislikes when it comes to humor. They also have customs that can be very different from our own. Your knowledge in this area will help you create a connection with your international audience. You must do your homework, but it is worth it because a laugh sounds the same and produces the same good feelings in any language.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Public Speaking : Words are Funny
Some words are simply funnier than others. Your word choice can be the key to creating a successful witty line or a dud. All professional comedy writers agree on the following fact. The sound of certain words can virtually guarantee a laugh. In particular, the 'K' sound in words is the granddaddy of all funny sounds. In Neil Simon's play, The Sunshine Boys, Willy, a main character, gives his nephew a lecture about comedy:
"Fifty-seven years in this business, you learn a few things. You know what words are funny and which words are not funny. Alka Seltzer is funny. You say "Alka Seltzer" you get a laugh . . . Words with "k" in them are funny. Casey Stengel, that's a funny name. Robert Taylor is not funny. Cupcake is funny. Tomato is not funny. Cookie is funny. Cucumber is funny. Car keys. Cleveland . . . Cleveland is funny. Maryland is not funny. Then, there's chicken. Chicken is funny. Pickle is funny."
Someone actually researched why the 'k' sound is funny. It has something to do with the sounds we, as babies, associated with comfort. Like cootchie-coo, cuddle, cozy, etc. Note that these words don't have a 'K' in them, but they have the 'K' sound.
Examples:
Those turkeys over at XYA (remember no Z's allowed) company can't hold a candle to our team of installers.
I'll bet you a cupcake to a cucumber the blue team will outsell the gold team.
"Fifty-seven years in this business, you learn a few things. You know what words are funny and which words are not funny. Alka Seltzer is funny. You say "Alka Seltzer" you get a laugh . . . Words with "k" in them are funny. Casey Stengel, that's a funny name. Robert Taylor is not funny. Cupcake is funny. Tomato is not funny. Cookie is funny. Cucumber is funny. Car keys. Cleveland . . . Cleveland is funny. Maryland is not funny. Then, there's chicken. Chicken is funny. Pickle is funny."
Someone actually researched why the 'k' sound is funny. It has something to do with the sounds we, as babies, associated with comfort. Like cootchie-coo, cuddle, cozy, etc. Note that these words don't have a 'K' in them, but they have the 'K' sound.
Examples:
Those turkeys over at XYA (remember no Z's allowed) company can't hold a candle to our team of installers.
I'll bet you a cupcake to a cucumber the blue team will outsell the gold team.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Public Speaking : Toasts
Toasting is not nearly as common as it once was. However, the polished public speaker should have a few short toasts ready to go if and when the occasion arises. Here are a few fun toasts and a few touching ones too:
Birthdays:
To your birthday, glass held high. Glad it's you that's older not I.
Heres to you. No matter how old you are, you don't look it.
Christmas:
'Twas the month after Christmas, and Santa had flit; Came there tidings in the mail, which read: Please remit.
Here's to the Holly with its bright red berry. Here's to Christmas, let's make it merry.
Meals:
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you diet.
A full belly, a heavy purse, and a light heart.
Friendship:
Here's to a friend who knows me well and likes me anyway.
May the friends of our youth be the companions of our old age.
Banquet speech ending:
Good day, good health, good cheer, good night!
Health:
Here's to your health. You make age curious, time furious, and all of us envious.
Luck:
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never face the wrong way.
May your luck be like the capital of Ireland. Always Dublin.
New Year:
May all our troubles in the coming year be as short as our New Year's resolutions.
In the year ahead may we treat our friends with kindness and our enemies with generosity.
Marriage:
Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution. Groucho Marx
May for 'better or worse' be far better than worse.
To close this section I would like to tell you that I feel like a loaf of bread. Wherever I go, they toast me.
Birthdays:
To your birthday, glass held high. Glad it's you that's older not I.
Heres to you. No matter how old you are, you don't look it.
Christmas:
'Twas the month after Christmas, and Santa had flit; Came there tidings in the mail, which read: Please remit.
Here's to the Holly with its bright red berry. Here's to Christmas, let's make it merry.
Meals:
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you diet.
A full belly, a heavy purse, and a light heart.
Friendship:
Here's to a friend who knows me well and likes me anyway.
May the friends of our youth be the companions of our old age.
Banquet speech ending:
Good day, good health, good cheer, good night!
Health:
Here's to your health. You make age curious, time furious, and all of us envious.
Luck:
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never face the wrong way.
May your luck be like the capital of Ireland. Always Dublin.
New Year:
May all our troubles in the coming year be as short as our New Year's resolutions.
In the year ahead may we treat our friends with kindness and our enemies with generosity.
Marriage:
Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution. Groucho Marx
May for 'better or worse' be far better than worse.
To close this section I would like to tell you that I feel like a loaf of bread. Wherever I go, they toast me.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Public Speaking : Simile
Simile is a comparison of two things which, however different in other respects, have some strong point or points in common. The words 'like' and 'as' will normally be used when making the comparison.
You might say, 'Getting this contract signed is as impossible as trying to smuggle daybreak past a rooster.' Contracts and roosters don't have much in common (which is funny), but in this case, the presenter is telling you what they do have in common. Getting the contract signed and smuggling daybreak past a rooster are both impossible.
You could shorten the last simile by changing 'as impossible as' to 'like.'
"Getting this contract signed is like trying to smuggle daybreak past a rooster."
In this case, the audience must make the interpretation that both are impossible. It's good to make the audience think sometimes because it forces them to be involved.
A recurring theme with me is that humor surrounds you wherever you go. I got a great simile out of a child's joke book I acquired (if something is valuable you acquire it) for 10 cents at a flea market. I now use this line in presentations all over the country. I do a seminar called Business Lite: Low Cost/No Cost Ways to Improve Productivity. In that seminar I talk about how employees feel at work. I say, 'Sometimes you go to work and you feel like a turtle with claustrophobia you've got to be there, but you feel closed in.'
I like to mix and match many types of humor in one concise chunk. Here's a simile that I just love.
"If you put his brain on a matchstick, it would be like rolling a BB down a four-lane highway."
Let's break this one-liner down to see how several different forms of humor were used. Putting a person's brain on a matchstick and rolling a BB down a four-lane highway are both ludicrous juxtapositions. (View this web site's 'Juxtaposition' article, for reference.) No one is going to put someone's brain on a matchstick, or roll a BB down a four-lane highway. This piece of humor is a simile because the two ludicrous juxtapositions are compared with the word like.
The effect of the simile is to exaggerate how small this man's brain is. So, three different types of humor juxtaposition, simile and exaggeration were combined to make a great one-liner. These are the types of relationships you would explore if you were feeling adventurous and decided to write some of your own humor. Many of the one-liners you run across will be combinations like this. You don't have to be able to dissect them like I just did. All you have to be able to do is pick the ones that make your point (in this case similes), and use them where and when appropriate.
You might say, 'Getting this contract signed is as impossible as trying to smuggle daybreak past a rooster.' Contracts and roosters don't have much in common (which is funny), but in this case, the presenter is telling you what they do have in common. Getting the contract signed and smuggling daybreak past a rooster are both impossible.
You could shorten the last simile by changing 'as impossible as' to 'like.'
"Getting this contract signed is like trying to smuggle daybreak past a rooster."
In this case, the audience must make the interpretation that both are impossible. It's good to make the audience think sometimes because it forces them to be involved.
A recurring theme with me is that humor surrounds you wherever you go. I got a great simile out of a child's joke book I acquired (if something is valuable you acquire it) for 10 cents at a flea market. I now use this line in presentations all over the country. I do a seminar called Business Lite: Low Cost/No Cost Ways to Improve Productivity. In that seminar I talk about how employees feel at work. I say, 'Sometimes you go to work and you feel like a turtle with claustrophobia you've got to be there, but you feel closed in.'
I like to mix and match many types of humor in one concise chunk. Here's a simile that I just love.
"If you put his brain on a matchstick, it would be like rolling a BB down a four-lane highway."
Let's break this one-liner down to see how several different forms of humor were used. Putting a person's brain on a matchstick and rolling a BB down a four-lane highway are both ludicrous juxtapositions. (View this web site's 'Juxtaposition' article, for reference.) No one is going to put someone's brain on a matchstick, or roll a BB down a four-lane highway. This piece of humor is a simile because the two ludicrous juxtapositions are compared with the word like.
The effect of the simile is to exaggerate how small this man's brain is. So, three different types of humor juxtaposition, simile and exaggeration were combined to make a great one-liner. These are the types of relationships you would explore if you were feeling adventurous and decided to write some of your own humor. Many of the one-liners you run across will be combinations like this. You don't have to be able to dissect them like I just did. All you have to be able to do is pick the ones that make your point (in this case similes), and use them where and when appropriate.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Public Speaking : Humorous Signs
I run across funny signs all the time. I try to take a mental note or take a picture of the sign for later use during a public speaking engagement.
John Jay Daly, a speaker friend of mine, does a hysterical slide presentation called 'The Wacky, Wonderful World of Washington.' Many of the slides are of signs that he has seen around Washington, D.C.
My favorite is a sign that says, 'In case of nuclear attack, the ban on school prayer will be lifted.' Another slide has a brass plaque on the front of a large building that says, 'All Deliveries Go to Rear of Building.' The next slide is the brass plaque on the back of the same building that says, 'No Deliveries.'
You can have lots of fun with signs. I just showed you two ways you can use them. In the last paragraph, I told you about the signs my friend uses in his slide presentation. That's one way. The second way is to actually show them, as my friend does, by means of projection. A third way is to have the sign or signs with you and hold them up.
I just attended a Meeting Planners International function where the presenter had his own applause sign. Everyone applauded on cue and had a good laugh because of it.
Photographic Tip: When taking pictures or slides of funny signs, always fill the photographic frame up completely with the sign. The impact of the sign is much greater when you do this. View this web site's
'Public Speaking Visuals: Fill 'Em Up' article.
Some of my favorite signs:
At a hospital in Prince Georges County, Maryland:
Hospital Policy is to refuse service to hospital patients. (This was posted at the snack bar.)
Funny tombstone inscription:
As I am now, you soon shall be. Prepare for death and follow me.Scribbled below: To follow you I'm not content. Until I know which way you went.
Another tombstone: It's so soon, I'm done for, I wonder what I was begun for!
On church marquee: Honey I Shrunk the Sermon
On door of small restaurant: Out to lunch
Sign in front of bankrupt store: We Undersold Everybody.
These English language signs were seen outside the United States:
Advertisement for a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by latest methodists.
Somewhere in an elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
1936 French sign: Don't kill your wife with work, let electricity do it.
In a Bangkok drycleaner's window: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Please leave your values at the front desk. (France)
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. (Japan)
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. (Switzerland)
I saw this sign on a display in a shoe store/pr>
All our spring colors are now in. (All shoes on the rack were white.)
Keep your eye out for funny signs so that you can tell your audiences about them or show them.
Here's my favorite sign of all time from a hotel in Acapulco, Mexico:
The manager has personally passed all water served here.
John Jay Daly, a speaker friend of mine, does a hysterical slide presentation called 'The Wacky, Wonderful World of Washington.' Many of the slides are of signs that he has seen around Washington, D.C.
My favorite is a sign that says, 'In case of nuclear attack, the ban on school prayer will be lifted.' Another slide has a brass plaque on the front of a large building that says, 'All Deliveries Go to Rear of Building.' The next slide is the brass plaque on the back of the same building that says, 'No Deliveries.'
You can have lots of fun with signs. I just showed you two ways you can use them. In the last paragraph, I told you about the signs my friend uses in his slide presentation. That's one way. The second way is to actually show them, as my friend does, by means of projection. A third way is to have the sign or signs with you and hold them up.
I just attended a Meeting Planners International function where the presenter had his own applause sign. Everyone applauded on cue and had a good laugh because of it.
Photographic Tip: When taking pictures or slides of funny signs, always fill the photographic frame up completely with the sign. The impact of the sign is much greater when you do this. View this web site's
'Public Speaking Visuals: Fill 'Em Up' article.
Some of my favorite signs:
At a hospital in Prince Georges County, Maryland:
Hospital Policy is to refuse service to hospital patients. (This was posted at the snack bar.)
Funny tombstone inscription:
As I am now, you soon shall be. Prepare for death and follow me.Scribbled below: To follow you I'm not content. Until I know which way you went.
Another tombstone: It's so soon, I'm done for, I wonder what I was begun for!
On church marquee: Honey I Shrunk the Sermon
On door of small restaurant: Out to lunch
Sign in front of bankrupt store: We Undersold Everybody.
These English language signs were seen outside the United States:
Advertisement for a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by latest methodists.
Somewhere in an elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
1936 French sign: Don't kill your wife with work, let electricity do it.
In a Bangkok drycleaner's window: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Please leave your values at the front desk. (France)
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. (Japan)
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. (Switzerland)
I saw this sign on a display in a shoe store/pr>
All our spring colors are now in. (All shoes on the rack were white.)
Keep your eye out for funny signs so that you can tell your audiences about them or show them.
Here's my favorite sign of all time from a hotel in Acapulco, Mexico:
The manager has personally passed all water served here.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Public Speaking : Self-Effacing Humor
Self-effacing humor, or making fun of yourself is quite a contrast. It is a very powerful form of humor that gets its strength from highlighting your weaknesses. It seems that people who have the ability to laugh at themselves in just the right amount during a public speaking engagement are perceived as secure, confident, strong, and likeable.
With this type of humor, a little goes a long way. If you overdo it during a public speaking engagement, you will look like a doomsayer who is always putting yourself down. If you can't bring yourself to use any self-effacing humor, you should learn. I must be candid here. Most people hate to deal with a stuffed shirt. Unfortunately, if you can't poke a little fun at yourself, that is the way you are perceived.
I think the reason self-effacing humor works so well is that weak people feel the need to inflate themselves and powerful people don't. If you have the confidence to tease yourself, you are indirectly sending the message to the audience that you are secure and powerful. Most audiences can see right through speakers who are trying to puff themselves up. It turns them off quickly.
The person who is not afraid to tease him or herself is the one who makes the greatest connection with the audience because everyone in the audience has embarrassed themselves or failed at something at one time or the other. If you use self-effacing humor, the audience knows that you, as the presenter, know how it feels to fail. That is a very powerful magnet.
Katharine Rolfe, President of The Lighten Up Club, takes self-effacing humor one step further. She says, 'I call it self-appreciating humor because it conveys a positive appreciation of ourselves as humans who are simply out there doing our best and bumbling along as we go.' Katharine's organization believes the key to a happy life is the ability to laugh at yourself, for then you are never without a source of amusement.
Unless you are a Don Rickles type presenter (known for his hockey puck teasing style of humor), you should never set yourself up as superior to the audience either socially, financially, or intellectually. You want the audience to accept you as one of them. Let them feel superior to you in some way. Your audience would rather hear about the time you fell on your face, rather than the time you won the race.
That is why self-effacing humor is great during speaking engagements. The audience likes the fact that you openly admit your weaknesses. They laugh, but they still respect you because you are self-confident enough to joke about yourself.
There are any number of things you can tease yourself about. Your physical appearance is good if you are especially tall, or short or fat or bald. Just make sure that the physical appearance is obvious to the audience. If you are disorganized, you could tease yourself about that. If you can't parallel park, you could tease yourself about that. Just about anything will work as long as you are the target.
What you want to avoid teasing about is any subject that has a direct tie to your credibility. For instance, if you were a nuclear control room technician, you would not want to joke about the time you pushed the wrong button. But, if you got fired from your job as a nuclear control room technician for almost pushing the wrong button, then this fact might be a good topic for humor. It could turn into a great topic if you now own a landscaping company or are in some other non-threatening position.
To use self-effacing humor, you don't necessarily have to joke about yourself. You can make fun of your family background, your profession, or anything else that directly relates to you. I tell a story in my presentations about the time my mom came from our very small hometown to visit me in the big city of Washington, D.C. The audience hears about how small Claysville is and that my mom's house is way out in the sticks. We didn't have city water, or city sewerage, or cable TV. I then go on to tell how we took a trip on the Spirit of Washington for a dinner cruise and went sightseeing all over the capital. Here's how the end of the story goes:
"When we got home that evening I was exhausted, so I told mom I was going to bed and that I would see her in the morning. She said, "OK. I'm just going to watch the news and then I'll go to bed." I got up at about 2:00 a.m. and there was mom sitting in front of the TV. Her head was nodding and drooping. I said, "Mom. What are you doing?" She said, "I'm just waiting for the news to be over." Well she would have waited a long time because she was watching . . .CNN 24 hour headline news."
In this story I was not directly teasing myself. I was teasing about my small town background and about the innocent and funny boner my mom pulled when she came to visit.
Former president Ronald Reagan was a master at using self-effacing humor. In his bid for the Presidency in 1980 his age appeared to be his biggest obstacle. He attacked the problem with self-effacing humor. He would joke about his age all the time which turned age into a non-issue. He told a group of reporters once, 'Thomas Jefferson once said, 'One should not worry about chronological age compared to the ability to perform the task.' . . . Ever since Thomas Jefferson told me that I stopped worrying about my age.'
Look for opportunities to tease yourself. This will be one of your most powerful tools to connect with the audience and a subtle way to show your strength.
With this type of humor, a little goes a long way. If you overdo it during a public speaking engagement, you will look like a doomsayer who is always putting yourself down. If you can't bring yourself to use any self-effacing humor, you should learn. I must be candid here. Most people hate to deal with a stuffed shirt. Unfortunately, if you can't poke a little fun at yourself, that is the way you are perceived.
I think the reason self-effacing humor works so well is that weak people feel the need to inflate themselves and powerful people don't. If you have the confidence to tease yourself, you are indirectly sending the message to the audience that you are secure and powerful. Most audiences can see right through speakers who are trying to puff themselves up. It turns them off quickly.
The person who is not afraid to tease him or herself is the one who makes the greatest connection with the audience because everyone in the audience has embarrassed themselves or failed at something at one time or the other. If you use self-effacing humor, the audience knows that you, as the presenter, know how it feels to fail. That is a very powerful magnet.
Katharine Rolfe, President of The Lighten Up Club, takes self-effacing humor one step further. She says, 'I call it self-appreciating humor because it conveys a positive appreciation of ourselves as humans who are simply out there doing our best and bumbling along as we go.' Katharine's organization believes the key to a happy life is the ability to laugh at yourself, for then you are never without a source of amusement.
Unless you are a Don Rickles type presenter (known for his hockey puck teasing style of humor), you should never set yourself up as superior to the audience either socially, financially, or intellectually. You want the audience to accept you as one of them. Let them feel superior to you in some way. Your audience would rather hear about the time you fell on your face, rather than the time you won the race.
That is why self-effacing humor is great during speaking engagements. The audience likes the fact that you openly admit your weaknesses. They laugh, but they still respect you because you are self-confident enough to joke about yourself.
There are any number of things you can tease yourself about. Your physical appearance is good if you are especially tall, or short or fat or bald. Just make sure that the physical appearance is obvious to the audience. If you are disorganized, you could tease yourself about that. If you can't parallel park, you could tease yourself about that. Just about anything will work as long as you are the target.
What you want to avoid teasing about is any subject that has a direct tie to your credibility. For instance, if you were a nuclear control room technician, you would not want to joke about the time you pushed the wrong button. But, if you got fired from your job as a nuclear control room technician for almost pushing the wrong button, then this fact might be a good topic for humor. It could turn into a great topic if you now own a landscaping company or are in some other non-threatening position.
To use self-effacing humor, you don't necessarily have to joke about yourself. You can make fun of your family background, your profession, or anything else that directly relates to you. I tell a story in my presentations about the time my mom came from our very small hometown to visit me in the big city of Washington, D.C. The audience hears about how small Claysville is and that my mom's house is way out in the sticks. We didn't have city water, or city sewerage, or cable TV. I then go on to tell how we took a trip on the Spirit of Washington for a dinner cruise and went sightseeing all over the capital. Here's how the end of the story goes:
"When we got home that evening I was exhausted, so I told mom I was going to bed and that I would see her in the morning. She said, "OK. I'm just going to watch the news and then I'll go to bed." I got up at about 2:00 a.m. and there was mom sitting in front of the TV. Her head was nodding and drooping. I said, "Mom. What are you doing?" She said, "I'm just waiting for the news to be over." Well she would have waited a long time because she was watching . . .CNN 24 hour headline news."
In this story I was not directly teasing myself. I was teasing about my small town background and about the innocent and funny boner my mom pulled when she came to visit.
Former president Ronald Reagan was a master at using self-effacing humor. In his bid for the Presidency in 1980 his age appeared to be his biggest obstacle. He attacked the problem with self-effacing humor. He would joke about his age all the time which turned age into a non-issue. He told a group of reporters once, 'Thomas Jefferson once said, 'One should not worry about chronological age compared to the ability to perform the task.' . . . Ever since Thomas Jefferson told me that I stopped worrying about my age.'
Look for opportunities to tease yourself. This will be one of your most powerful tools to connect with the audience and a subtle way to show your strength.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Public Speaking : Roast Humor and Insults
Being roasted is an honor, but you must be careful to honor people while you are roasting them during a public speaking engagement. Joke about things that are obviously untrue, then exaggerate them to make them more obvious. Or, you can outrageously exaggerate things that are true.
When choosing the butt of a roast joke or story, pick big targets. Never make fun of a small target (janitor, secretary, etc.). Make fun of the boss. He or she is still the boss after all the teasing and will look like a great sport for going along with it.
Members of 'in' groups can joke about their peers and insult each other all they want. Bob Hope made fun of Ronald Reagan. Everyone knew they were buddies.
If you widely spread an insult or collection of insults, the group can laugh together. No one is individually embarrassed. The same remarks aimed at an individual removed from the cohesive influence of the group might cause someone to get upset.
Always clear your comments IN ADVANCE! Unless you are participating in a full-blown roast program, always make fun of yourself first. If you kid yourself first, the audience will be more receptive when you kid them. Here are some roast examples:
To an AT&T executive:
If a Martian called Ed's office to contact earth, he'd try to sell them on the benefits of our new 800 service.
Keep remarks focused on unimportant things that can't be damaging!
Folks we are here tonight to Roast Joe. I'm particularly happy to be here because I can now say in public all the things I've been saying behind his back. He/she is a man/woman of the world . . . and you know what bad shape the world is in.
Insult about areas of recognized strength and superiority!
To a great family man and/or community leader:
Joe's (neighbors/business associates/preacher, etc.,) all say what a wonderful couple he and his wife make . . . if it wasn't for Joe.
To a well-known philanthropist:
He is a man of rare gifts . . . he hasn't given any in years.
At a program with a long head table with lots of speakers, an emcee might say:
The emcee's job is not to be wise or witty. In fact, it is his job to appear dull so that the speakers on the program will shine in comparison. Tonight it looks like I'm going to have to rise to new heights of boredom.
To the audience the emcee or speaker might say:
I'm glad to be here tonight to look into your faces. . . . And God knows there are some faces here that need looking into.
When choosing the butt of a roast joke or story, pick big targets. Never make fun of a small target (janitor, secretary, etc.). Make fun of the boss. He or she is still the boss after all the teasing and will look like a great sport for going along with it.
Members of 'in' groups can joke about their peers and insult each other all they want. Bob Hope made fun of Ronald Reagan. Everyone knew they were buddies.
If you widely spread an insult or collection of insults, the group can laugh together. No one is individually embarrassed. The same remarks aimed at an individual removed from the cohesive influence of the group might cause someone to get upset.
Always clear your comments IN ADVANCE! Unless you are participating in a full-blown roast program, always make fun of yourself first. If you kid yourself first, the audience will be more receptive when you kid them. Here are some roast examples:
To an AT&T executive:
If a Martian called Ed's office to contact earth, he'd try to sell them on the benefits of our new 800 service.
Keep remarks focused on unimportant things that can't be damaging!
Folks we are here tonight to Roast Joe. I'm particularly happy to be here because I can now say in public all the things I've been saying behind his back. He/she is a man/woman of the world . . . and you know what bad shape the world is in.
Insult about areas of recognized strength and superiority!
To a great family man and/or community leader:
Joe's (neighbors/business associates/preacher, etc.,) all say what a wonderful couple he and his wife make . . . if it wasn't for Joe.
To a well-known philanthropist:
He is a man of rare gifts . . . he hasn't given any in years.
At a program with a long head table with lots of speakers, an emcee might say:
The emcee's job is not to be wise or witty. In fact, it is his job to appear dull so that the speakers on the program will shine in comparison. Tonight it looks like I'm going to have to rise to new heights of boredom.
To the audience the emcee or speaker might say:
I'm glad to be here tonight to look into your faces. . . . And God knows there are some faces here that need looking into.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Public Speaking: - Brand new radio show on blogging plus much more
Blogging and Beyond Internet Radio Show Launches Thursday, January 11, 11 a.m. ET
Why Blogging Isn’t Enough
Find out why having a great blog isn’t enough, and what you can do about it. Thursday, January 11 kicks off the Internet radio show “Blogging and Beyond” with The Blog Squad duo of Patsi Krakoff, Psy. D., and Denise Wakeman on http://www.voice.voiceamerica.com/.
On the show “Blogging and Beyond,” Patsi and Denise will reveal the tools and tactics they used to triple their business in two years. Subscribe to http://www.bloggingandbeyond.com/, to get updates on how to grow your business using simple online tools to attract, sell and profit.
BONUS: get a free copy of The Blog Squad's Quick Start Guide to Set Up a Blog for Your Business. Visithttp://www.bloggingandbeyond.com/, and click on the link that says, “Get your free guide to setting up a business blog.” It's 13 steps to help you get your business blog set up fast.
Why Blogging Isn’t Enough
Find out why having a great blog isn’t enough, and what you can do about it. Thursday, January 11 kicks off the Internet radio show “Blogging and Beyond” with The Blog Squad duo of Patsi Krakoff, Psy. D., and Denise Wakeman on http://www.voice.voiceamerica.com/.
On the show “Blogging and Beyond,” Patsi and Denise will reveal the tools and tactics they used to triple their business in two years. Subscribe to http://www.bloggingandbeyond.com/, to get updates on how to grow your business using simple online tools to attract, sell and profit.
BONUS: get a free copy of The Blog Squad's Quick Start Guide to Set Up a Blog for Your Business. Visithttp://www.bloggingandbeyond.com/, and click on the link that says, “Get your free guide to setting up a business blog.” It's 13 steps to help you get your business blog set up fast.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Public Speaking: Quotations
Quotations are safe to use during public speaking engagements because if the quotation is not funny, it doesn't matter since you are just reciting it. You did not write it. It can still be used to make your point.
You can use the power of the name of the person who did write it. People will be more likely to laugh or at least chuckle if a famous person made up the quotation.
If you are not sure to whom the quotation belongs, it does not matter at all. Unless I am absolutely certain who said something, I always give myself an out. I usually say 'I BELIEVE' it was ____________ who said. This keeps me out of trouble for attributing the quotation to the wrong person. Sometimes I say, 'My great, great grandpappy used to say . . .;, or 'My old aunt Maude used to say . . . ;. However, if you know for sure who said something and their name carries weight, go ahead and use it.
There are literally thousands and thousands of notable quotations available to you. Stop at any bookstore and look at quotation books. You can also look on the Internet for searchable quotation web sites. Here are just a few examples of some of my favorite quotations:
*Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. Winston Churchill
*I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend than be one. Clarence Darrow
*I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterward. Rudyard Kipling
*Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain
*Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing. Alexander Woollcott
*He is more apt to contribute heat than light to a discussion. Woodrow Wilson
*Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits. Thomas Edison
*When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. Abe Lincoln
*It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
*When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Franklin Delano Roosevelt
*In the first place God made idiots; this was for practice. Then he made school boards. Mark Twain(take out school boards and substitute anything that fits your purpose).
When you are being funny, don't feel bad about twisting the quotations to meet your situation. Mark Twain will never say a word about it. Neither will anyone else if you introduce your quotation by saying, 'Someone once said,' or 'My great, great, grandpappy used to say.' Then change the quotation around any way that suits you.
You can use the power of the name of the person who did write it. People will be more likely to laugh or at least chuckle if a famous person made up the quotation.
If you are not sure to whom the quotation belongs, it does not matter at all. Unless I am absolutely certain who said something, I always give myself an out. I usually say 'I BELIEVE' it was ____________ who said. This keeps me out of trouble for attributing the quotation to the wrong person. Sometimes I say, 'My great, great grandpappy used to say . . .;, or 'My old aunt Maude used to say . . . ;. However, if you know for sure who said something and their name carries weight, go ahead and use it.
There are literally thousands and thousands of notable quotations available to you. Stop at any bookstore and look at quotation books. You can also look on the Internet for searchable quotation web sites. Here are just a few examples of some of my favorite quotations:
*Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. Winston Churchill
*I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend than be one. Clarence Darrow
*I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterward. Rudyard Kipling
*Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain
*Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing. Alexander Woollcott
*He is more apt to contribute heat than light to a discussion. Woodrow Wilson
*Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits. Thomas Edison
*When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. Abe Lincoln
*It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
*When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Franklin Delano Roosevelt
*In the first place God made idiots; this was for practice. Then he made school boards. Mark Twain(take out school boards and substitute anything that fits your purpose).
When you are being funny, don't feel bad about twisting the quotations to meet your situation. Mark Twain will never say a word about it. Neither will anyone else if you introduce your quotation by saying, 'Someone once said,' or 'My great, great, grandpappy used to say.' Then change the quotation around any way that suits you.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Public Speaking : Funny Question and Answer Sessions
Question-and-answer sessions are great opportunities to show off your sense of humor and get audience participation during a public speaking engagement. Let's see how we can have some fun with them.
A good way to open up a Q & A session is to say, 'The last time I opened up for a Q & A session, the first question I got was 'What time is it?' or 'Can I be excused?' or 'Aren't you getting tired up there?' Say anything except the old boring 'Now let's open it up for questions.'
To be a fun presenter you must take every opportunity to do something different from the norm. To prepare for Q & A sessions you should spend some time anticipating questions and creating humorous answers to use before you give the real answer. Be careful not to sound like a smart aleck when delivering the humorous part of the answer.
When a witty response is offered to an audience question it appears to be spontaneous, but you can easily be ready with well-rehearsed responses. If you want to take more control of the humor used in a Q & A session, you can easily do that too. Here are two solid methods that I use all the time.
The first is to plant stooges in the audience. The second is a variation on an old standby Q & A method.
When I say that you should plant stooges in the audience, I usually mean that you should select one or more of the audience members to help you with the gag. You contact these people either by phone when you are doing your pre-program research or during the time you are schmoozing with audience members before the program. You simply ask them for some help during the talk. If they agree, tell them to raise their hand during the Q & A portion of the talk. They will be asking the fake question you have given them.
The question itself may be funny or your preplanned answer could be the zinger. Either way should get a laugh. Here's the hard part. You must supply the question. The more customized it is to the group, the better it will be.
It might be funny if you got the president of the company to ask a really dumb question like, 'How much did we pay you to be here?'
It might be funny if you got one of the top salespeople to ask when they get to take the company jet to their next sales call. Who knows what might be funny to your group? I sure don't.
I will give you a little hint though. The answer to what might be funny to the group you are addressing will most likely come to you while you are doing your research on the group. That is another reason pre-program work is so important. Sometimes all the humor is handed to you. All you have to do is plug it in.
If you want even more exacting control over the humor used in the Q & A session, you can use a very common Q & A technique. Solicit questions from the group to be submitted on 3-in. x 5-in. cards. All you have to do then is slip in a few fake ones. That way you get to be in control of reading both the question and the answer. This would be the way to go if you had worries about your stooges performing well, or if you didn't recruit any stooges.
A good way to open up a Q & A session is to say, 'The last time I opened up for a Q & A session, the first question I got was 'What time is it?' or 'Can I be excused?' or 'Aren't you getting tired up there?' Say anything except the old boring 'Now let's open it up for questions.'
To be a fun presenter you must take every opportunity to do something different from the norm. To prepare for Q & A sessions you should spend some time anticipating questions and creating humorous answers to use before you give the real answer. Be careful not to sound like a smart aleck when delivering the humorous part of the answer.
When a witty response is offered to an audience question it appears to be spontaneous, but you can easily be ready with well-rehearsed responses. If you want to take more control of the humor used in a Q & A session, you can easily do that too. Here are two solid methods that I use all the time.
The first is to plant stooges in the audience. The second is a variation on an old standby Q & A method.
When I say that you should plant stooges in the audience, I usually mean that you should select one or more of the audience members to help you with the gag. You contact these people either by phone when you are doing your pre-program research or during the time you are schmoozing with audience members before the program. You simply ask them for some help during the talk. If they agree, tell them to raise their hand during the Q & A portion of the talk. They will be asking the fake question you have given them.
The question itself may be funny or your preplanned answer could be the zinger. Either way should get a laugh. Here's the hard part. You must supply the question. The more customized it is to the group, the better it will be.
It might be funny if you got the president of the company to ask a really dumb question like, 'How much did we pay you to be here?'
It might be funny if you got one of the top salespeople to ask when they get to take the company jet to their next sales call. Who knows what might be funny to your group? I sure don't.
I will give you a little hint though. The answer to what might be funny to the group you are addressing will most likely come to you while you are doing your research on the group. That is another reason pre-program work is so important. Sometimes all the humor is handed to you. All you have to do is plug it in.
If you want even more exacting control over the humor used in the Q & A session, you can use a very common Q & A technique. Solicit questions from the group to be submitted on 3-in. x 5-in. cards. All you have to do then is slip in a few fake ones. That way you get to be in control of reading both the question and the answer. This would be the way to go if you had worries about your stooges performing well, or if you didn't recruit any stooges.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Public Speaking : Proverb Fortune Cookie Humor
(Note: Determine if this is politically correct for your audience.)
You can throw in a cute diversion to a boring public speaking engagement by attributing a saying to an ancient Chinese philosopher. Since these sayings are not attributed to anyone in particular, feel free to change or update them to fit your situation and to enhance their humor.
(The term 'original' here means as original as something can be after being recited and translated for several hundred years.)
Original: You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from nesting in your hair.
Update: You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from pooping on your Gucci blazer.
Original: He who walk on eggs should tread lightly.
Update: He who walk on eggs should find out the price per dozen.
Original: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
Update: People who live in glass houses should pull down the blinds.
You can throw in a cute diversion to a boring public speaking engagement by attributing a saying to an ancient Chinese philosopher. Since these sayings are not attributed to anyone in particular, feel free to change or update them to fit your situation and to enhance their humor.
(The term 'original' here means as original as something can be after being recited and translated for several hundred years.)
Original: You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from nesting in your hair.
Update: You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from pooping on your Gucci blazer.
Original: He who walk on eggs should tread lightly.
Update: He who walk on eggs should find out the price per dozen.
Original: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
Update: People who live in glass houses should pull down the blinds.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Public Speaking : Places are Funny
Some places are simply funnier than others. Cleveland is funny. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, is funny. I live just off Goodluck Road. That's funny. My computer consultant used to live on Easy Street in Temple Hills, Maryland. That's funny. It was hard to find him because people were always stealing the sign, and it's not easy to steal an Easy Street sign.
I guarantee that if you pick up any map that has city or street names on it, within a few seconds, you will find a funny name. If you look at it for a few minutes, you'll find many.
I just picked up my road atlas and opened it to the USA and Canada maps in the front. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, almost jumped off the page and into my word processor. Tuscaloosa, Alabama, wasn't far behind along with Kalamazoo, Michigan; Toledo, Ohio; Schenectady, New York; and one of my favorites, Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Now, I'm going to open the street map for Lanham, Maryland, where this brilliant article is being created. I told you I live off Goodluck Road and I see that a few blocks away from my house is Elvis Lane in Presley Manor. About a mile away is Lois Lane (I guess Superman visits there regularly) and I recently did some work in Boniwood. That isn't funny to you, but it was a scream around our office because my assistant's name is Bonnie. Humor is literally waiting for you just around the corner!
Besides cities and roads, you have at your disposal an unlimited number of funny names related to restaurants, hotels and stores like Pigly Wigly, Kangaroo Katies, Motel 6, The Colonels Kentucky Fried Chicken, and K Mart.
I guarantee that if you pick up any map that has city or street names on it, within a few seconds, you will find a funny name. If you look at it for a few minutes, you'll find many.
I just picked up my road atlas and opened it to the USA and Canada maps in the front. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, almost jumped off the page and into my word processor. Tuscaloosa, Alabama, wasn't far behind along with Kalamazoo, Michigan; Toledo, Ohio; Schenectady, New York; and one of my favorites, Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Now, I'm going to open the street map for Lanham, Maryland, where this brilliant article is being created. I told you I live off Goodluck Road and I see that a few blocks away from my house is Elvis Lane in Presley Manor. About a mile away is Lois Lane (I guess Superman visits there regularly) and I recently did some work in Boniwood. That isn't funny to you, but it was a scream around our office because my assistant's name is Bonnie. Humor is literally waiting for you just around the corner!
Besides cities and roads, you have at your disposal an unlimited number of funny names related to restaurants, hotels and stores like Pigly Wigly, Kangaroo Katies, Motel 6, The Colonels Kentucky Fried Chicken, and K Mart.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)