Monday, December 14, 2009

Public Speaking: Tax Humor

Of course you can't take it with you, and with high taxes, lawyer's fees, and funeral expenses you can't leave it behind either.

Benjamin Franklin had an axiom, "A penny saved is a penny earned." But that was before the sales tax was invented.

A dime is a dollar with all the various taxes deducted.

The reward for saving money is being able to pay our taxes without borrowing.

Our beloved country has made remarkable progress. Now politicians have arranged to spend taxes before they collect them.

A political promise today means another tax tomorrow.

We may need tax reform, but it seems we need a lot of spending reform too.

The futility of riches is stated very plainly in two places: the Bible and the income-tax form.

In Russia the people have only what the government gives them; in America the people have only what the government does not take away from them in taxes.

If science says nothing is impossible, how about a mechanical taxpayer?

Science has increased our life span considerably. Now we can look forward to paying our taxes at least ten years longer.

Space scientists have made an analysis of the lunar soil. It shows that corn can't be raised on the moon, but it's great for raising taxes.

At no time is it easier to keep your mouth shut than during an audit of your income-tax return.

Our government could raise unlimited revenue simply by taxing sin.

Being a success today means the government takes away in taxes what you used to dream of earning.

An American can consider himself a success when it costs him more to support the government than to support a family.

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