Friday, January 09, 2009

Public Speaking : SPEAKER HUMOR

=> Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

=> Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.

=> Many people do not believe in miracles . . . they rely on them.

=> The early bird who catches the worm usually works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

=> Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

=> Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense.

=> Always try to stop talking before people stop listening.

=> It is okay to be ignorant in some areas, but some people abuse the privilege.

=> If something is done wrong often enough, it becomes right.

=> Some come to the fountain of knowledge to drink, some prefer to just gargle.

=> When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.

=> Never bet on a loser because you think his luck is about to change.

=> If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

=> The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

=> All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!

=> Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

=> If on an actuarial basis there is a 50-50 chance that something will go wrong, it will actually go wrong nine times out of ten.

No comments: