Monday, April 16, 2012

Test Humor for Introductions

Test humor is humor that is placed in your written introduction. It is to be read by your introducer, not by you.

Pick a couple of these lines and stick with them. The real value of test humor comes when you have heard the same line being delivered in your introduction over and over. The laughter of the audience will tell you if they are ready to laugh. This concept is called "in fun" (see Wake' em Up Business Presentations for a complete explanation.)

NOTE: The "?" is for your name, and most of these pieces of test humor can be used for either male or female presenters

? is one of the greatest speakers ever and that's just not my opinion, it's his/hers too. Let's welcome ? (lead enthusiastic applause)

It has been said that ? is the number one man/woman in the field of ???. And here folks is the man/woman who said it. Let's welcome ? (lead enthusiastic applause)

The man/woman I am about to introduce is so full of ideas I have heard him described as a manic EXPRESSIVE. Let's welcome ? (lead enthusiastic applause)

? is a man/woman who helps people. In fact, he/she would never turn someone away from his/her door if they needed help ...He/she would let them sit there all day if they wanted to. Let's welcome ? (lead enthusiastic applause)

Some people believe that ? is one of the greatest business speakers alive today....Of course some people believe in the Easter Bunny. Let's welcome ? (lead enthusiastic applause)

?'s discussion of (subject) will be very enlightening. She says that after her talk you will still be confused, but on a much higher plane.

? says she is going to speak and hopefully you are going to listen. If you finish before she does, please raise your hand.

? says she will be happy to answer any questions you might have as long as you don't ask, "Why did you bother to come here?"

Although she eventually became a model ? says she wasn't the cutest child. In fact, her parents threw away her kindergarten photo and framed the negative.

? says she doesn't read Fortune, but she has eaten a lot of their cookies.

? says she wants to fly to Hawaii for a second honeymoon and she's getting her husband to drive her to the airport.

? says their are seven ages of women: Baby, infant, Jr. Miss, Young Woman, Young Woman, Young Woman and Young Woman.

? Says the best years of her life were the ten years between 29 and 30.

? Says he was a war baby. His parents looked at him and started fighting.

? Says he was born during the great depression. Not the countries. His mothers.

? Says she will give you in length what she lacks in depth.

She/he wants you to think of her/his talk as the horns of a steer. A point here, a point there and a lot of bull in between.

For all female audience:

? says diamonds are a girl's best friend and dogs are a man's best friend. Now you know which sex has more sense.

? says a businesswoman has to be twice as good as a man. Fortunately, that's not hard to do.

Tom will pay YOU to read this book...

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