Friday, September 02, 2011

Public Speaking - Cat Humor

I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that ..

--Steve Martin

The cat who doesn't act finicky soon loses control of his owner.
--"Morris the Cat"

Garfield's Law: Cats instinctively know the precise moment their owners will awaken ... then they awaken them ten minutes sooner.
--Jim Davis

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
--Garrison Keillor

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
--W. C. Fields

We have two cats. They're my wife's cats, Mischa and Alex. You can tell a woman names a cat like this. Women always have sensitive names: Muffy, Fluffy, Buffy. Guys name cats things like Tuna Breath, Fur Face, Meow Head. They're nice cats. They've been neutered and they've been declawed. So they're like pillows that eat.
--Larry Reeb

Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs and patronizes human beings.
--Oliver Herford 1863-1935 American Writer.

A little girl cried. Daddy, Daddy Fluffy is dead. That’s OK dear. Fluffy has gone to Heaven to be with God. What would God want with a dead cat?

I’m not one of those as can see the cat in the dairy and wonder what she’s there for.
--George Eliot.

What astonished him was that cats should have two holes cut in their skins at the exactly the same places where there eyes were.
--Georg Christoph Lichtenberg 1712-1799

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