Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Public Speaking - Great Exit Lines

P.T. Barnum would have trouble getting people to leave his museum so he put up a sign that said, "This way to the Egress." When people went through the door, they found themselves on the street. I don't want to find myself there, so I'll finish up now...

You've heard that "All's well that ends well." Well in my case it's All's well that ends. Goodnight.

When all is said and done, there is usually more said than done. I think I've said enough. Good Luck.

When a speaker says, "Well, to make a long story short," it's usually too late. I don't want you to feel that way about me. Thanks for having me.

If you have a Question and Answer period:

Now let's open it up for questions. Ask me anything. If I know the answer, I'll give it to you. If I don't, I'll make something up.

Complimentary and funny:
Secretaries are the backbone of an organization. They are the structure that holds everything together [start to get emotional and cry. Take out a handkerchief and hidden noisemaker. Blow your nose really loudly]. I'm sorry. I get so emotional. You're the greatest. Good bye.

Paraphrase a quotation:
The next time you're feeling down, and you look in the mirror and see a few extra wrinkles, just remember what my old buddy Mark Twain used to say. "Those wrinkles are where smiles have been all these years." I'm Tom Antion. I love you.

Now I'm going to say something in the public interest. Goodnight.

George Eliot said, "Blessed is the man [I would substitute the word person for the word man to avoid sexist language], who having nothing to say refrains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact."

An old-timer is one who can remember when time was marching on instead of running out. My time is running out, so in conclusion...

My great, great granddaddy always told me, "When you're holding a conversation, be sure to let go of it once in awhile." I'm letting go of ours right now. Are there any questions?

My talks usually have a happy ending. That's because everyone is glad they are over.

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