Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Public Speaking : SPEAKER HUMOR

=> Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

=> Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

=> Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

=> Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.

=> Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

=> Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

=> Father: A banker provided by nature.

=> Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

=> Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with the bill.

=> Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

=> How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

=> Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

=> Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

=> Women should not have children after 35. Really...35 children are enough.

=> Men are like slinkies.......not really good for anything but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

=> Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

=> Men are like ... horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

=>I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."-- Joan Rivers,

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